I've been MIA for the last month...it's been a ridiculously hard and emotionally trying month. I finished my chemo treatments the day before Thanksgiving, and for that I am completely grateful. I felt as if I was walking in a fog for the last three months and I'm finally waking up. December rolled around and I can't wait for the month, and the year, to be over.
A week or so after I finished chemo and was up and functioning again I was hit with a colitis attack. It lasted only two days, and thankfully didn't require and trips to the ER or hospitalization. Once I was over that, we found out that our sweet puppy dog Lars had cancer. Just two days after we got the diagnosis, tumors had spread all over his body and he was barely functioning. We went to the vet and held him, sang to him, and just showed love as he went towards his final sleep. He was an amazing spirit, and we're so blessed to have had him in our lives for 8 full and wonderful years. I can't begin to tell you how much we miss him. He was my Bubba. He cuddled and slept with me as I went through chemo - with him I was never alone. I also always had a furry butt in my face most of the time, but it was worth it for the cuddles. He was my walking buddy and just a fun dog to be around. He liked EVERYONE and very few people were able to resist his charm. I know he's in a better place and all of that jazz, but I just miss my Bubba.
Less than a week later, I accidentally took too much insulin and ended up having a diabetic seizure. Thankfully my amazing husband was able to get the EMTs to me very quickly, and they were able to treat me before taking me to the ER to get checked over. The short of it is that my blood sugar dropped too low too fast, and according to the EMTs I was minutes away from falling into a coma. Traumatic doesn't cover it. Thankfully it didn't take much to make me better, and I'm off all insulin. I guess that's my silver lining.
Just a day later, when I was headed to see my doctor about the aforementioned seizure, my fairly new-ish car died completely. I had to get it towed and have the steering column replaced. This was more annoying than traumatic, but it was sort of my breaking point.
A December to Remember...I'd love to forget, but I know I won't.
But as with all things, I am striving to make the best out of this year. I have appointments with all of my major specialists to get checked out before the end of the year. I laughed and cried with my husband over the loss of our sweet boy, and am finally finding peace in this. I am taking better care of myself - I never want to go through anything like what I went through the night of the seizure again. My car is fixed and in good shape.
It will be okay. I'm holding on until the scenery changes. 2013 can suck my big toe.
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