Motivational Monday: Intentions

I woke up a bit after midnight on the last day of the year. I'd hoped to sleep through the night, but that was an ambitious goal, since I haven't done that in months. Of course I overslept and there was no way I was going to make it to my 9:30 class. It's a bit of a bummer, but I decided not to let that kill my mood and focus on what I get from yoga off that mat.

So this Motivational Monday dedicated to better understanding setting intentions in your practice.


For me, it was difficult at first to wrap my mind around the idea of intentions, and I initially used to set goals for my practice. Professionally, I am really good at setting goals. In my workouts, I've gotten pretty good at setting goals - a new PR, mastering a new skill, etc. Reaching those goals were satisfying, but not in a profound way. As I stay in the practice of yoga, however, it is now coming more naturally, as it is a part of any good yoga class.

I found the best definition of intentions on Oprah.com - the rest were so philosophically out there that while I could wrap my head around it, there was no way I could accurately describe it.

Intentions: Your intentions are states of being and authentic desires. In other words, you may have an intention to be peaceful, grateful, joyous, loving, successful, healthy or wealthy. Your intentions are your high ideals and are usually at the root of your motivation for any of your specific goals. Most people don't really want goals like a new relationship, more money or a fit body simply for the sake of those things themselves. You want them because of what you believe you will experience by having them in your life. By starting with your intentions, you get right to the source of what you truly want. Intentions are the core and the magic of all of your goals and desires.

Read more:
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Setting-and-Achieving-Goals-with-Intention/2#ixzz2GeXTsZ00

Over the last several months I've found that setting intentions before engaging in any activity brings me the most success. It is more than just a goal - it's the true heart of the reason for being there. It is what helps me through when the physical is challenging or my body or mind is just not into it.


My favorite yoga instructor Fred is great at helping us set intentions at the beginning of the practice. Yesterday, we focused on a set of questions - are there things in 2012 that you want to leave behind? What worked and what didn't? Where do you see yourself a year from now? How are you going to get there? These questions were designed, in my opinion, not to come up with a list of SMART goals, but as we settled into our practice, to tune into the yearnings of our heart.

And as we moved forward with our practice for the day and moved into some more complicated asanas that I hadn't tried before, asking and answering those questions became significantly easier. Reaching towards the stillness that a complete yoga practice brings, I could tune into what the heart's desires are.

After much practice, thanks to Fred, of setting intentions, mine always boil down to the same few words. It's an amazing moment for me, to simultaneously feel these intentions for a brief moment during my practice while knowing they are my heart's desires. Health, Calm, Peace, Joy.

Because of my health and my own innate ability to get sucked up into unnecessary drama, these four heart's desires elude me most of the time. When I focus on intent for my life, if I imagine what my life would be like without all the noise and distraction, this is all I want. Health (what is achievable for me). Calm (spirit an mind). Peace (lack of drama and lack of reaction to drama). Joy (a continual glow of happiness that is not based on any particular situation or condition).



And as I look to 2013 my goals and commitments are rooted in those intentions. Everything I do, everything I'll work towards will lead me to embody those four words. My goals will be the tools I use to fulfill my intentions, but realize that they can be changed if they are not truly leading me to these heart's desires.


Let me be clear that yoga is the tool I use to find my center. For you, it could be running, lifting, swimming, or whatever floats your boat. But anyone truly committed to their practice knows that moment of pure insight where you attain such clarity as to what your heart desires. Let it lead your way this year. Let your intentions be the fire during the dark times and spark that leads you during the best of times.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Rain, Rain, Go Away

I'll admit, I am NOT hardcore. I will not go running in the pouring rain. I'd get sick in a second and my joints would never forgive me. So today, I'm going to stay in and watch the pretty rain from my window. I'll also do some light yoga to keep myself moving, because there is no way I'm going out right now. I love weather, I just don't like me in weather :)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Fitness Friday: My Plan for 2013

Today is a good day. I woke up without joint pain, throwing up or any of the other unpleasant stuff that has plagued me this week. So I decided I would outline my fitness plan for 2013.

Yoga: Lots of it.
- I want to take classes at YogaWorks on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays at the very least. This will get me into my favorite Viniyoga class and a more challenging Yoga Blend class weekly. If I have energy, I will go to either Viniyoga or a slightly more challenging YogaWorks (1) class on Saturdays.

- I will take classes in January at Hot8Yoga on Mondays and Wednesdays. It fits my work schedule nicely.



Walking:
- I will walk my dog every morning, unless I'm having some lupusy issue that prevents me from getting out of bed on time. Going for the half mile distance.

- I will start interval training for my 5k on March 16th as part of the LA Marathon. I'll also start raising money for it next week. I know I can walk the entire thing, but since I'm a good 30lbs lighter than the last time I tried to run, it would be nice to see if I can run a part of it.


Weights:
- I am going to work on slowly adding in weights to my exercise routine in the mornings. I have free weights and kettle bells and I know how to use them, even if I haven't in a long time.


Meditation:
- I will sit for 10 minutes daily
- I will define which meditation style suits me best and pursue it in earnest.



My goals:
- Lose 50lbs in 2013
- Get proficient enough in yoga to take the 200hr teacher training in 2014
- Run one mile without stopping
- Get comfortable swinging KBs again.



These aren't resolutions, because these are goals that have been in the making. I am just putting them on paper today to make it official and make myself accountable. I will do a monthly check-in on my progress on these goals to make sure I'm moving along.

Thanks for reading and keeping me motivated :)



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

One Thought Thursday: Evolution (of the personal kind)

I am a work in progress, and there is beauty in that, not just in the final product. In fact, I never want to be done evolving.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Who Needs New Years for Commitment??

I've never been a big fan of New Years resolutions. While it's a good idea for some, most people fade off after the first month. Gym memberships skyrocket the first week in January, and all the gym regulars get excited for February 1st when the excitement dies down and they have their space back.

Generally I make resolutions on my birthday. It's more personal to me - it's a year of my existence that I want to make better. I also like to renew those resolutions around May. Don't ask me why...it just works for me.

So true to form, I haven't made any big resolutions starting January 1. I'm going to continue with what I have been doing, and amping it up. I have spent this week off redefining my goals, and coming up with strategies.

One thing that I've done this week was get in my yoga and try hot yoga for the first time. It was a completely different experience from the loving, caring, family environment that I have at my regular studio. At the hot yoga studio, you're there to WORK. And work I did. I've also been more conscious about what I've been eating and drinking tons of water.


Which leads me to my Wednesday weigh in:

Highest Weight: 235
Lowest Weight: Can't remember:
Last week: 193
This week: 191
Change: -2

I tend to do better when I have more time on my hands because I can spend it the way I want - eating better, going to yoga at odd hours and getting as much sleep as I need.

I'm committed to myself, regardless of the time of year.


What non-New Years resolutions are you working on?



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas Eve

A few years ago Omar and I decided that we wanted to incorporate fitness into our Thanksgiving so participated in a turkey trot. That lasted one year because I got super sick.

But the desire to keep fitness as a big part of our lives - especially the holidays - has never left. Today, I'm honoring that desire by going to a 9:30 a.m. yoga class with my favorite instructor Fred, who brings a bit of spirituality into each class. Omar has created his own physical assessment plan, a set of fitness goals, and a roadmap on how he is going to achieve those goals. I so admire his mind, his determination and follow-through.

I'm finishing December strong by going to as many yoga classes as I can, and by doing as much as my body allows. We don't celebrate Christmas in any traditional sense, as neither of us subscribe to any religion. We use this time to reflect on the year past, to remind ourselves what we are grateful for, to better cultivate a practice of gratitude in love. In the longest nights of the year, we work on rekindling the light inside each one of us and sharing it with others.

So no matter what traditions you celebrate today/tonight/tomorrow, be good to each other. Don't forget to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. Cultivate gratitude. Move your body for the sheer love of it, and because you can.


Happy Holidays.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

On Vacation and Finding Joy

My vacation started officially at 1pm on Friday, and I swore that I was going to take it easy and have an active, but relaxing vacation. I decided that I was going to be really good at conserving my spoons.

Well, my spoons are in the negative, but at this point I wouldn't change a thing about it. I've had a wonderful vacation so far.

On Friday, I saw Both: A Nativity Story (told through the songs of the Beatles). It was a Broadway worthy performance, and I laughed, teared up, sang, grooved, and just had an amazing time. I am so thankful for the actors who performed, as they volunteered their time to do something that brought so much joy to everyone in the room. It is definitely going to be a new holiday tradition for me.





Yesterday, Omar and I went out to Palm Springs to hang out with our friends John and Tins. It was just a good day of fun with great people. We blew things up, we talked about cameras (Tins is a professional, and I'm starting to get interested in it as a hobby), had lots of laughs, got to cuddle with a sleeping baby...So much awesomeness. Will be doing a lot more of that.



Even more than that, I had an awesome time with Omar. We talked for four hours about everything and anything and I'm so grateful that our love and friendship becomes deeper every day, every year.

Today I'm off to yoga. My body is telling me that this might not be the best idea, but I need to do it for my soul. Some people find their zen/peace/whatever in church. I find mine on the mat.

I can't wait to see what the rest of vacation brings.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Fantastic Friday!

It's 11:15 am on the Friday before Christmas. I get off of work at 1 pm today, and don't come back until January 2nd.  I am literally quivering with excitement.

I am so desperately ready for vacation. I'm still fighting off the flu, but my lupus seems to be in check right now, so my body kinda feels fantastic (for me, anyway). I can't wait to start our vacation, because the hubs and I plan on being very active. We want to get out every day and do something. We walked a mile (round trip) to dinner last night. We're going to take a trip out to the Sequoias at some point next week.

We will likely take our Christmas Day photo on the beach - perks of living in SoCal.

I've convinced one of my bffs to come to yoga with me a couple of days next week. I may even get the hubs back in the studio.I'm likely going to purchase a one month trial membership to a hot yoga place which is located inside the building I work.  

For me, vacation is the exact opposite of what my life has been like lately. Movement. Freedom. Sleep. Energy. Happy. It's a time to let go of all the stuff that's been weighing me down figuratively and literally and let go. Enjoy. Be at peace.

I won't be taking a break from blogging, because I have a ton of posts in my draft folder - my reviews some amazing products from Head&Shoulders and Vitacost, my year in review, my plans for 2013....so keep checking back.

Happy happy happy :)

Wednesday Goals Check-In, Realizations & Recommitment

I had a realization this morning. I have had my priorities somewhat skewed for the month of December. I talked a lot about finishing strong, and I'm still committed to that. But what that looks like is very different than what I thought it would be. I swore I'd be doing yoga 7 days a week, building up my running, starting to lift weights, and lose ten pounds. Totally ambitious, but totally not grounded in reality.



I was so not focused on where I am and what I have. Where I am is sick. I have pleurisy, a lupus joint flare and the flu. I've had all three for a month. What I have is a body that NEEDS sleep, cold medicine, prednisone (steroids that I have a love/hate relationship with) and care.

I've been beating myself up both physically and mentally, trying to push myself beyond what my body is capable of to accomplish goals that weren't smart. Every day I grew more and more frustrated that I wasn't out there accomplishing some major physical feats...not taking into account that my journey is what it is and I need to stop comparing myself to other people.



How can I go to yoga seven days a week if my lungs burn and chest wheezes every time I take a deep breath? How can I lift weights when showering sometimes leaves me dizzy and in pain? How can I possibly lose 10lbs when I keep getting steroids shots to control my lupus and I KNOW they cause weight gain. Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining. This is sometimes my reality. But what the hell was I thinking?

Obviously I wasn't. So I decided this morning that I was going to take a good look at what I have and revised my idea of finishing December strong.


Goal 1: Do NOT let my weight go over 193. That's roughly what I've been at all month before the steroid shots. If I can manage my eating and get in enough gentle exercise, I should be able to maintain that.

Goal 2: Eat well. See Goal 1. This is entirely in my control, whereas other stuff is not.

Goal 3: Drink lots of water.

Goal 4: Get a minimum of 7 hours sleep since my body seems to need it to heal and recover.

Goal 5: Gently stretch every day. I may not be able to do a handstand but I sure as heck can do some stretching in bed.

Goal 6: Be active when I can and stay within tolerable limits, and rest when I need to do so.

Goal 7: Stop beating myself up and be proud of the progress I've made.

I've been fluctuating in weight, but not dramatically. I actually lost another lb, but then gained two back after being in bed all weekend. No surprise there. But you know what? I didn't eat everything in sight, I drank tons of water and exercised self-control.

Highest weight: 235 lbs
Lowest Weight: Can't Remember
Last Week: 191
This Week: 192
Change: +1

I was chosen to be an ambassador for three great groups - Greatist.com, FitApproach.com and GirlsGoneSporty.com - for a reason. Not because I'm running marathons or setting new lifting PRs every week. I was chosen because despite my challenges I don't give up. I'm working on finding a path to wellness. It may not be what I want all the time, and it may not be as dramatic and dazzling as some of my amazing cohorts, but it is an honest journey towards having a better relationship with food, exercise and healthy. I need to remember that.

I'm finishing December strong because I'm not giving up. I'm not pushing myself beyond my really annoying limits, but I am doing what I can every day. And that's why #imagreatist, I #sweatpink and I'm one of the #girlsgonesporty.





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I am a Girls Gone Sporty Ambassador!!!!

I know I talked about ending December and the year on a high note, and this definitely contributed to it. I woke up this morning around 2am, sick as can be, and while I was waiting for the nausea to subside, I decided to check my email.

I am so glad I did, because I found out that I was accepted as a Girls Gone Sporty Ambassador! Squee!!!



Haven't heard of Girls Gone Sporty? Well, check out this excerpt from their About page.

What is the “sporty life”? It’s more than just fitness and nutrition; it’s an attitude that’s focused on embracing fun and adventure. The sporty woman says, “I can do anything I put my mind to, I just need the resources to do it.” That’s where Girls Gone Sporty comes in. Owned and operated by Laura Williams, a self-proclaimed "sporty girl" and her husband Lance Williams (an equally sporty guy), Girls Gone Sporty is dedicated to sharing the top
products, trends and ideas for advancing the fit and adventurous lifestyle.

So what's the role of an ambassador? We’re women who embrace our tagline, “Live the sporty life!” Women who work hard, play hard, compete and eat, all with the intention of being their best, most positive selves.
We Ambassadors form a network of sporty women who band together to focus on positive health. Studies have shown two things: 1) healthy living is contagious, and 2) healthy living is not just about weight loss. While we recognize that achieving and maintaining a healthy weight is important, weight and appearance are not cornerstones of our belief system, and we want to encourage women everywhere to embrace whole health and an attitude of adventure – body, mind, spirit and lifestyle – right where they are now.

I'm so so thrilled to be part of yet another great group of women, some I already know from being an Ambassador for Greatist.com and FitApproach.com. It is an amazing community and y'all inspire me every day to keep living the sporty life even when life seems to knock me down and throw hurdles in my way.

Much love to ALL my Ambassadors crews:










- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Reflections

I haven't posted much of anything the last few days because of the tragedies in Connecticut and in China. It seems as if anything I had to say would be petty and self-centered in the wake of these devastating losses. My challenges will always remain, but no one should have to experience what these families are going through.

I also couldn't handle the political rantings on facebook and elsewhere. Yes, there needs to be a discourse on gun control and mental health. Yes, we need to talk about the callousness of the media trying to interview children as they were leaving the school, but for fucks sake, let people mourn their dead. There is much that needs to be done, but none of it should be done by exploiting the grief and terror of people as it happens. *rant over*



December for me has always been a time of rest, renewal and planning. Work-wise, it's the only month I don't have an event, so I spend my time relaxing and getting ready for the upcoming year. I also have the last week off, so there's a bit of excitement to it. Because I tend to run in high gear the rest of the year, I slow down considerably for the last month of the year.

Recently, I was told at work that while I'm still meeting expectations, I'm no longer exceeding them. To some, that may not sound like a big deal, but my boss is big on us being superstars. So this was no idle comment. I pretty much kicked ass this year. But I also learned a lot.

A year ago, I was just coming off of months of chemo and on transplant anti-rejection medication to control my lupus. I weighed my heaviest ever, was in constant pain and it took all my willpower to get through the day. I knew then, as I know now, it's the price I pay for doing all I do year round. You can't live with as many chronic diseases as I do and not pay a price. For me, it's minimum of a month of being practically bedridden and in ridiculous amounts of pain. When I started on a new treatment plan just about a year ago, I made a promise to myself, and to my darling husband, that I would no longer let work, school, or anything run me into the ground like I did in the past. It was beyond time that I decided to seek a balance in life that would allow me to do what I wanted and needed professionally while maintaining the energy to be a good wife, friend, daughter, sister, cousin, etc.

The last year has brought about some of the biggest changes in my life. I decided that it was time to put my health first. As I say to my friend Cecilia all the time, in an airplane, you have to put on your mask first before you can help anyone else. I haven't been doing that for a long time. Truth be told, I still have trouble with it. But this year, I started. I took therapy seriously for the first time. I started looking at my relationship with food and started making changes that nourished my body and found other ways to treat my soul. I discovered yoga and found the calm and peace in practice. I stepped up my meditation practice to the point where I could actually feel it influencing my day-to-day life.


So to hear that the "old" Elyse was missed was a bit traumatic. The Old Elyse would sacrifice her body, time and energy to make things happen. The old Elyse worked 7 days a week, often wrote emails at 3am, and gave everything to a job I believed in.

I still believe in and love my job. I just fell in love with me more. I decided I am worth the effort it takes to maintain a work/life balance. I decided that being a whole person who may be good in all areas in my life is better than someone who sacrifices all to be a superstar in one area only.


The Old Elyse is gone. I'm not quite sure how I'll exceed expectations again, but I can tell you I'm exceeding my own. I am a better wife, friend, relative and person for the care I've given myself, and will continue to work on being so. Because I am worth it.


Life is precious. You only have one, and we know all too well how easily it can end. My moment of clarity was being placed on chemotherapy for "the foreseeable future" last year. For someone else, it might be the tragedies of this past week. Either way, remember that you shouldn't live to work, but work to live, and that life is more than just being there. Enjoy life. Tell those closest to you how much they mean to you. Hug your friends and release the anger towards your enemies.

Be at peace. Be happy. Be light. Be love. Be you.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Go Away Stupid Cold...thing...whatever

So it's been about two weeks. I've been plagued with severe fatigue, coughing, sneezing, chest pain, fever, chills, sweats, muscle and joint pain, and I'm just tired of it all. Normally, I would tough it out, but I've decided I want to end the year with some modicum of health.

Which leads me to my 9:30 doctor's appointment. I have little hope that I'll find out anything other than I already know - that months of working too hard and too many hours has run me down and that rest will be the best cure for all this.

It's so not what I want to hear because I want to just pick up my life already and enjoy the last few days of the year. I know I need to change my mindset and enjoy the last few days of the year regardless, but I would love to not feel like I'm going to fall asleep all day, not have to wear fingerless gloves in SoCal because my hands are cramping or wonder about whether or not I can eat because my stomach is rebelling.

Whine whine whine.

Happy Friday.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

One Thought Thursday

I am healing - slowly but surely - in body, mind and spirit. And for that I am thankful.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday Goal Check In

I've sort of fallen off the face of the planet the last few days, mainly because I have some funky stomach thing that causes me to reject food in all forms. It's been fun. Yesterday was the first day I kept food down, and this morning I'm feeling kind of shaky. I've been in bed or on the couch pretty much since Sunday, so I haven't had much to write about. Truthfully, if I wasn't working I was sleeping.

Highest Weight: 235
Lowest Weight: Can't Remember
Last Week: 193
This Week: 191
Change: -2

I can't take all the credit for the loss...obviously my body not taking in any nutrients and not moving did all the work for me.

On a positive note, I have been meditating a lot...pretty much every day for 10 minute stretches at a time, a couple of times a day. It helps relieve the nausea and headaches somewhat, so I'm grateful for that.

Hopefully, as I start feeling better this week, I'm going to double up on posts to catch up with the stuff that should have been going on. I am testing out a new Head & Shoulders product via Influenster, have a few Vitacost products that I've tried (one I really liked, and the other not so much to my taste) and one more to try, and my plans for the end of the year workout.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

A little Monday Motivation

I need to start listening to my own advice. Yoga after work? Quite possibly.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Must.Eat.Breakfast.

This weekend I posted about the *other* monster in my life -depression - and how yoga has helped me gain some ground.

Today I want to talk about food. Food has been a constant battle my whole life for a variety of reasons, but I'm working on it.

I figured since that since December is all about finishing the month strong, I would work on all areas of my life. I'm starting simple - I'm making myself eat breakfast. I normally don't eat breakfast because I'm nauseous the better part of the morning due to lupus meds. But I know I'm doing my body a disservice. So today I'm having a not-paleo but clean oatmeal with dried cranberries and cinnamon. Tomorrow, eggs and oatmeal. The day after that, who knows? But I'm getting in something to break the fast every day.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Not Sad Saturday - A Post About Depression

This post was inspired by a very honest and awesome post about depression by my weigh-in buddy Tiffany of Dance.lift.Run.

I've been in a bad, bad funk for the last several days, which culminated with a crying session last night and wondering if my depression was getting worse. Depression and having lupus go hand in hand, and while most of the time I can power through with the help of some amazing people in my life, sometimes it gets the bet of me.

I don't think I'm completely in Happy-land yet, but I did come to a few realizations that got me on the road there.

* I REALLY don't do well with isolation. One of the things about lupus is that even when I don't feel well I can force myself out of bed and be around other people if I really want or need. When I've got the lupus/something contagious combination, then it's a lot harder. I can't go to work because for various reasons I CANNOT get my coworkers sick. And I have LOTS of friends with lupus who can't afford to get sick. So I'm pretty much relegated to chatting online, as I normally lose my voice. This extended period of isolation really fucked with my head. I am so friggin grateful for the online community that I have developed over the last several months because I know that I would have been so bad off without you all. I started this blog after a period of not being able to walk, so you all have meant so much to me. Special shoutout to my FitApproach #sweatpink sisters, my fellow #imagreatist Greatist.com ambassadors, the Sweaty Betties crew and the awesome people in the Curvy Yoga network.

* I need to be more open to sharing my feelings and being vulnerable while talking to friends. As my husband said today, I put up a really good front. I don't like talking to people about the really hard stuff, the stuff that makes me cry. The worse I feel, the more I withdraw. For a long time almost no one in my life really understood what my life was like, so when I would be open and vulnerable, my feelings would be dismissed. So I'm scared to open up. But the reality today is that I have some amazing people around me who are open and willing to listen to the bad as well as the good.

* I NEED to stop putting myself last. I was taking part in a tweet chat on handling stress during the holidays and we were asked what negative behavior do you engage in when you are stressed. I put my health, emotional and physical, on the backburner. It's a bad habit I've picked up and while I am not as bad as I used to be, it still happens pretty frequently. I haven't been taking care of myself as well as I could by letting work issues get to me, not taking time to nourish my soul including a real serious meditation practice, or doing physical activities that make me happy, especially yoga. Sure I've dabbled a bit during the squat-a-thon and have been doing restorative work at home, but it's not the same as the work I put in at the yoga studio. I need to make time to just go, because it fulfills something deep inside me.


Today, I woke up in a bad headspace. Seeing that, my husband made it his mission to make me smile today. We had a day that really focused on what was making me sad and taking one step to get out of it. Everything from working on my isolation by just getting out of the house, to buying a movie trilogy that I have long wanted (LOTR) and to taking care of my spirit by going to yoga. I love this man. So much.

I mentioned on here a few posts ago how I needed to get back on the mat in the studio in the worst way and reignite the spark I had for my most favorite activity. I was right. The second I walked in the studio, something inside just exhaled and felt immediately at home. The studio just radiates acceptance. When you walk in there, you feel the love and the sense that while you will be challenged physically, we will also help you get to know your soul. It is definitely not just an asana practice there. They are really committed to the entire practice of yoga, and it makes me feel really good.




Today's class was so perfect. My teacher Fred is such a compassionate, empathatic wonderful person. Today it was like he knew exactly what I was struggling with and focused on asanas that challenged me (starting on building the foundation of a headstand) with pranayama work, niyama, intention setting, and visualization. I sweated and challenged my body in a way that I can't quite do in my home practice, which is super gentle and restorative. I started to test my limits and realize that my capacity is not as narrow as I feared. It was so what I needed.



(In the spirit of Fred's talk on how yoga can help you better cope with the holidays, I couldn't resist putting up this picture)

As I sat/stood/inverted on my mat, I was able to reach in and find that core of me that had been desperately needing some TLC. I reawakened my love for something that is so so meaningful, and that I KNOW is my true path in life. I remembered why I wanted to practice so much, and why I ultimately want to be a yoga instructor - to create a practice for people like me who need something both physically and spiritually challenging and fulfilling, especially those dealing with the depression that comes with living with chronic illness.


I've just shared a lot really really vulnerable things about me. Does anyone else deal with depression? How do you deal? How do you stop yourself from getting stuck in that downward spiral.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad