Life Goes On...

I mentioned last week that I wasn't coping well at all.  I was doing all the right things, but everything is still too much for me to process. Writing that out, talking to my therapist about it was completely therapeutic.  Once I admitted that the things in my life are too big for me to handle it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders.  It wasn't instantaneous, and it wasn't the only thing that made me breathe again, but it helped. So thank you to everyone who took the time to read that post, whether you commented or called, or just thought about me for a minute.

Since then, I've come to the amazing, dramatic, crazy conclusion that while I was wallowing and while I sit here now, life goes on. The days don't stop moving forward, bills don't stop coming, friends and family don't stop needing you. So I had to wake up and decide what I wanted to do. Would I sit and wallow some more, because if life goes on regardless of what I do why should I participate? Or would I jump full speed into life, try and figure out whether or not I can work or what I could do and just go insane?

I'm taking a slow middle road. I'm sitting outside. I'm rescheduling the appointments that I cancelled. I am calling back people who have left messages. I'm starting to talk again. I went to the library. I looked at our community calendar and figured out what classes I want to take in the fall (web design, writing your book, Indian cooking to name a few).

I'm trying to find the joy in the little things. Cuddles with my pups. Conversations with my husband. Watching John Oliver break The Daily Show. Reading blogs and twitter posts. Trying to ignore the hoopla of the royal baby.

I'm not saying I'm okay, and I'm not saying I'm getting there and some giant progress has been attained.  But life goes on, and I am going to go on with it.