How Life is Going- Finally an Update!

I'm alive and kicking in the SCV (Santa Clarita Valley - 25 miles north of LA proper). I thought I would give you an update. I've started this post a million times but couldn't really put a positive spin on anything. As you know, I was in a deep, deep depression. I'm not "cured" but I'm definitely climbing my way away from rock bottom.

My medical news hasn't gotten better. I'm jacked up on a ton of steroids that are keeping my colon from becoming inflamed and bleeding but is destroying the rest of me. My diabetes and moods are out of control, I shake like I'm having a seizure 24/7, and I have had some of the worst joint and bone pain I've had since being diagnosed over 6 years ago. I'm not even going to talk about the water retention and weight gain. Anyone who has been on high doses of prednisone or solumedrol knows what I am talking about. My last appointment with my rheumatologist was not really comforting. We know that I need to get off of the steroids but we don't have an option to treat my colon long term. So the steroids are keeping the colon alive and well, but I have to get off the steroids. Without any options right now, I basically have to hold on and deal with it. I go back in three weeks.

So here's how I've been holding on. Therapy. It helps. Extra medication - I almost never take anything for pain - not because I'm trying to prove something, but I am afraid of masking a symptom with pain medication and missing something. So I asked for a pain medication for the first time since signing up with my current rheumy. Right now I'm taking 2 percocets a day and it has changed my life. I have been able to get out of bed and do things, like go to the store or walk my dog. I also got a prescription for anxiety that has the marvelous side effect of calming the tremors down. I no longer look like a walking seizure and I can use a non-sippy cup.

I've also been holding up by meditating. When you spend that much time in bed/couch in pain, you can't help but meditate. I do mindfulness meditation and I think it's having a positive effect.




Stretching whenever I get up. Simple, I know. It hurts, but I don't want to atrophy.

Reaching out to friends and being honest. I'm great at acting like I'm doing much better than I am, and I'm pretty flippant when it comes to scary news. I never admit I'm scared and try to act like everything is normal when it's not. Surprise - that was weird and off putting to friends so I was isolating myself. When I gave myself permission to be sad, to grieve, I was able to be honest with my friends and family, and they have become nearer and dearer since.






Projects: I get bored very easily, and sitting around and staring at the walls gets boring. So after a long discussion with my husband, we decided that we want to stay in our apartment past the 1 year lease and we want to decorate to really reflect our personalities. He's doing his bathroom and the office, and I'll be decorating the rest of the apartment. Pinterest has become useful again, and I'm getting some fun ideas for different areas of the apartment - red subway tile backsplashes, a green accent wall in the bedroom, air purifying plants, artwork that I plan on creating, etc. It really has me jazzed.

I'm also reading a lot more. I have decided to take advantage of the public library just 6 minutes away from home. I'm reading everything from fiction to anatomy. Here are just a few things that make me happy right now:

my books from the library for this month



My August Glam Bag Products




My brand-spanking new pill case that ensures I'm taking everything -including my supplements. It was difficult before because I just didn't have enough space and I would lose track of what I was taking (supplement wise).



I haven't been physically active in the running/biking/yoga sense because my body can't handle it right now, but I'm doing every little bit I can to get my life in order. I want to live life, not just watch it go by from my very comfy couch.




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