Happy almost one year anniversary to me and you and this blog!! Last year I was in the middle of some health thing - I can't remember what it was at this point. All I know is that I was working at home/sick for two weeks.
I'd been feeling better and wanted to become more physically active, so in typical over-sharer fashion I decided to blog about it. I then applied for and was accepted as an ambassador for Greatist, Fit Approach, Girls Gone Sporty and the Sweaty Betties. I was rocking it. Posting daily, exercising at odd hours of the day, eating somewhat well - I think I made all paleo dishes for that Thanksgiving.
My blog talked about inspiration, habits, and how I wasn't going to let a silly little disease slow me down. I wondered at my changing relationship with food, how I viewed myself, and my 50-lb weight loss. I was KILLING it. Until one day I wasn't. Life's circumstances whacked me in the ass - I got so sick that I had to stop working, was hospitalized three times, and am now on disability rarely leaving home except for doctor appointments.
I stopped blogging. I couldn't say anything without wanting or starting to cry. My perspective shifted again...and as I went through these changes, I was on some level aware that my consciousness was growing exponentially. I became more aware of my relationships with others, things that I have done or had been doing to impact them, how my depression and major life changes impacted (or didn't) my friends and family, and what was important to me. While the last year has been hell, the last couple of months have been truly transformational. In the past, I've felt like I've made changes to who I am, what I believe and what I want out of life, but it doesn't even come close. Things happen for a reason when they're supposed to happen, I suppose. I wasn't ready for real change, and I'm just glad that circumstances and people in life appeared/disappeared when they did and I got a second chance.
So it seems only fitting that on the birthday month of my blog that I would change the name to reflect where I am in life. Aaaaaand drumroll please.....the new title of this blog will be:
The Conscious Musings of Elyse
Because developing consciousness, mindfulness, peace, gratitude, happiness and more loving relationships with the people in my life and myself was way too long a title. I also bored myself writing it, even if it is true.
In other news, even though I have not been blogging much because I was going through this awkward transition phase, I have been writing. I started off with working on my novel, and then realized that I had no idea where I wanted it to go. So for even more fun, I just started freewriting every day. I have parts of almost 20 short stories, some have common themes and I'm grouping those together so I'll eventually have a collection of short stories to publish. Some have no connection to anything. Some are articles that I am writing (for no real reason) on issues of self-esteem, chronic illness, etc. that I may eventually submit for publication. It's been such a wonderful outlet.
I'm also learning how to draw - flowers specifically. I love nature and landscapes and with limited artistic talent, I've picked up a few books on drawing and plan on getting some fancy drawing pencils and stuff so I can work on it more diligently.
I've made two more painted rocks - one I adore with a peace lily on it, and one I kind of like - I painted it background gold with the OM symbol on it. The fun thing with acrylics and projects like this is that I can just paint right over it and start again. My friend C sent me a pattern for a more modern painting, and I think I'm actually going to do it on the canvas I've been saving until I could do something I'd want to see on my walls :)
I'm working hard at trying to get back into fitness, but it's hard. I signed up for Tai Chi adn have only made it to two of the four classes so far from being sick. I also signed up at my yoga studio again - what? they had a deal - but haven't been well enough to do more than walk the dog once a day. Don't worry, he gets out way more than that, but the "official" walks happen 2-3x a day.
Anyway, I'll quit while I'm ahead with my rambling self.
So to a year of being conscious and making conscious changes in life.
-Elyse
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