Funny enough, my husband has been the biggest catalyst of that change. Since I met him, he's challenged me to take a second look at my status quo and really examine what playing it safe had gotten me. The answer was not a whole lot. Since we met over 9 years ago, I've been slowly taking more and more risks. I'm still cautious though, and think things through pretty carefully before acting. I think risk-taking coupled with impulsivity can be dangerous, so I try to be conscious and mindful of my choices.
I've had the great opportunity to meet people I would have never encountered inside my safe bubble, never would have explored the different avenues of health and wellness that are now staples in my life. Trying Muay Thai, building muscle and even starting a yoga practice were all risks I've taken in the last few years. Opening up this blog and sharing my story was a huge emotional risk. But I've loved each and every experience and have learned so much along the way.
Recently, I've had to make a choice that both played it safe and is a big risk. One of the medications that I have been taking over a year caused me to have a severe bad reaction which led to a 7 day hospital stay and my subsequent disability. This drug had also been, up until the last infusion, the best medication I've had at controlling my lupus. I had to decide whether or not to try it again or switch to a class of medications that I know from experience will have negative side effects and not give me the optimal level of health I had with the infusion medication when it was working at its best. I ultimately decided with the guidance of my doctor to stop the infusion medication because we don't want to risk it again. We're playing it safe in that sense. But it's a risk - we know the other medications have side effects that will impact my health and ability to train (exercise and practice yoga) and will potentially affect my diabetes which I have been able to control very well with a mostly paleo diet.
It's a risk I'm willing to take, because I am still not even close to recovered from the bad reaction and not able to work right now. But the decision will have ramifications for a long time.
Having lupus, or any autoimmune disease, is difficult because choices like this have to be made all the time. We have to figure out what is the lesser of all evils and hope that we can live with the side effects. Despite this, I remain hopeful and optimistic. Once I've made my decision, I try to focus on the best scenarios and leave behind negative thoughts. I don't want to sabotage my risks by thinking I'm going to fail.
Have you faced any choices where playing it safe also meant taking a great risk?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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